40 Minutes
by N. Munirah (Moon) Rohaizan
I wish I were eloquent enough to describe the reason behind the series.
There is a shadow in my head, muttering words that could only be described as self-harming.
I walked around with a sense of loneliness and emptiness.
My shoulders felt heavy with a weight I couldn’t identify.
There are days when I hate being myself, days when I want to disappear forever.
Just away from the life I once lived.
Comparing myself to others became routine.
I grew impatient, uneasy, and restless.
I developed a narrative around my self-worth or lack thereof.
I hid my pain.
I was afraid to ask for help.
I was scared to be vulnerable.
Mental health remains a taboo topic in Asian culture, and by admitting to it,
it means acknowledging that you are broken;
that you have become a burden, a daughter who can't keep a stable job.
So I hid.
Gaslighting, racism, exclusion, abandonment, and bullying
are just a few of the many factors that shape to a toxic work environment.
The statement “Be grateful for your job” has held us
hostage long enough at the expense of our self-esteem.
I was looking for an escape, a safe space;
that was my ‘why’ when I started the series.
While commuting, I often noticed people seemed disconnected.
They were not mentally present.
I was intrigued.
It creates a pseudo-narrative: that everyone was retreating into their own safe space,
heading towards their dreams.
By capturing them in a constant composition,
I tried to narrate the feeling of being stuck, unable to move beyond their safe space.
I was drawn to the melancholy feeling in each portraits that shown in the series.
Subconsciously, I was empty.
A man died twice in his lifetime.
The death of his heart,
and death by his life
If you are lucky,
Death only comes once
For the death of the heart.
Is nothing more than just.
Empty.
Kim Young Ha once said,
“We believe that we learn about ourselves through other people.
I think we can discover ourselves through others, like mirrors.”
As the series progresses,
each subject evokes a different feeling,
a longing, perhaps, that I hope we can all experience.
It is better to be held than to hold on.
Painful as it is,
you are not alone.
In time, the feeling returns as scars.
To start a new
It is better to be empty.
What will tomorrow bring?
As I slowly step out my safe space,
the narrative of the series shifts.
The series began in 2017 as Life of a Commuter and ended as 40 Minutes.
I am proud of how far the series has come
and how it has restored my sanity.
No filter
No anything
Just capture
The essence of everything
a lyric snippet from a song titled ‘You're Beautiful’ by The Rose
___________________________
N. Munirah (Moon) Rohaizan is a self-taught photographer and seasoned project manager based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. She discovered her passion for photography while studying business in Dublin, Ireland, a pivotal moment that shaped her creative journey.
In June 2023, Moon participated in Making an Artist’s Photobook Workhsop as part of the Exposure+ Photo Festival 2023, facilitated by Gueari Galeri in partnership with Photobook Club Kuala Lumpur, Zontiga and Canon Malaysia, where she developed her series titled 40 Minutes into a photobook. In April 2025, the dummy book will exhibited as an art piece at the German Japanese Museum - Mitsuko Castle in Thürkow-Todendorf, Germany, as part of the "Ways to Plainness - The Realisation of 'DO/ d a t_code'" exhibition. 40 Minutes will also be exhibited at NordArt in Germany in June 2025.
Currently, Moon manages the Kuala Lumpur International Photoawards (KLPA), one of Asia’s leading photography competitions. Her curatorial contributions include assisting with the MOCA Fest visual art team at the World Islamic Economy Forum (2015) and managing Exposure+ Photo Festival (2022, 2023). Moon has also collaborated with cultural organisations such as the Two Mountains Photo Project 3.0 and PhotoSymposium Asia.
Internationally recognised for her expertise, Moon spoke at the Suwon Photo Festival (2022) and co-curated the 4th Jeju Biennale (2024). She was also part of the publication Kuala Lumpur-Berlin, Kisah Dua Bandaraya (2011). With a passion for storytelling, Moon’s work reflects her commitment to amplifying diverse narratives in Malaysia and beyond.
https://nurulmunirahrohaiz.wixsite.com/moon | @moonrohaizan | facebook.com/nmrohaizan/ | nurulmunirahrohaizan@gmail.com
I wish I were eloquent enough to describe the reason behind the series.
There is a shadow in my head, muttering words that could only be described as self-harming.
I walked around with a sense of loneliness and emptiness.
My shoulders felt heavy with a weight I couldn’t identify.
There are days when I hate being myself, days when I want to disappear forever.
Just away from the life I once lived.
Comparing myself to others became routine.
I grew impatient, uneasy, and restless.
I developed a narrative around my self-worth or lack thereof.
I hid my pain.
I was afraid to ask for help.
I was scared to be vulnerable.
Mental health remains a taboo topic in Asian culture, and by admitting to it,
it means acknowledging that you are broken;
that you have become a burden, a daughter who can't keep a stable job.
So I hid.
Gaslighting, racism, exclusion, abandonment, and bullying
are just a few of the many factors that shape to a toxic work environment.
The statement “Be grateful for your job” has held us
hostage long enough at the expense of our self-esteem.
I was looking for an escape, a safe space;
that was my ‘why’ when I started the series.
While commuting, I often noticed people seemed disconnected.
They were not mentally present.
I was intrigued.
It creates a pseudo-narrative: that everyone was retreating into their own safe space,
heading towards their dreams.
By capturing them in a constant composition,
I tried to narrate the feeling of being stuck, unable to move beyond their safe space.
I was drawn to the melancholy feeling in each portraits that shown in the series.
Subconsciously, I was empty.
A man died twice in his lifetime.
The death of his heart,
and death by his life
If you are lucky,
Death only comes once
For the death of the heart.
Is nothing more than just.
Empty.
Kim Young Ha once said,
“We believe that we learn about ourselves through other people.
I think we can discover ourselves through others, like mirrors.”
As the series progresses,
each subject evokes a different feeling,
a longing, perhaps, that I hope we can all experience.
It is better to be held than to hold on.
Painful as it is,
you are not alone.
In time, the feeling returns as scars.
To start a new
It is better to be empty.
What will tomorrow bring?
As I slowly step out my safe space,
the narrative of the series shifts.
The series began in 2017 as Life of a Commuter and ended as 40 Minutes.
I am proud of how far the series has come
and how it has restored my sanity.
No filter
No anything
Just capture
The essence of everything
a lyric snippet from a song titled ‘You're Beautiful’ by The Rose
___________________________
N. Munirah (Moon) Rohaizan is a self-taught photographer and seasoned project manager based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. She discovered her passion for photography while studying business in Dublin, Ireland, a pivotal moment that shaped her creative journey.
In June 2023, Moon participated in Making an Artist’s Photobook Workhsop as part of the Exposure+ Photo Festival 2023, facilitated by Gueari Galeri in partnership with Photobook Club Kuala Lumpur, Zontiga and Canon Malaysia, where she developed her series titled 40 Minutes into a photobook. In April 2025, the dummy book will exhibited as an art piece at the German Japanese Museum - Mitsuko Castle in Thürkow-Todendorf, Germany, as part of the "Ways to Plainness - The Realisation of 'DO/ d a t_code'" exhibition. 40 Minutes will also be exhibited at NordArt in Germany in June 2025.
Currently, Moon manages the Kuala Lumpur International Photoawards (KLPA), one of Asia’s leading photography competitions. Her curatorial contributions include assisting with the MOCA Fest visual art team at the World Islamic Economy Forum (2015) and managing Exposure+ Photo Festival (2022, 2023). Moon has also collaborated with cultural organisations such as the Two Mountains Photo Project 3.0 and PhotoSymposium Asia.
Internationally recognised for her expertise, Moon spoke at the Suwon Photo Festival (2022) and co-curated the 4th Jeju Biennale (2024). She was also part of the publication Kuala Lumpur-Berlin, Kisah Dua Bandaraya (2011). With a passion for storytelling, Moon’s work reflects her commitment to amplifying diverse narratives in Malaysia and beyond.
https://nurulmunirahrohaiz.wixsite.com/moon | @moonrohaizan | facebook.com/nmrohaizan/ | nurulmunirahrohaizan@gmail.com
Making an Artist’s Photobook workshop in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, June 2023